Abortion is a terribly controversial topic. Bring it up in a crowded room like social media and be prepared to have the rabid Planned Parenthood supporters attack you in the most vicious and profane way, most of which have bio’s reflecting self descriptions like “Atheist, dog lover, HIV tester, condom dispenser, fetus destroying, tree hugger.” They are a group of people who have bought the lie that life and risky behaviors should hold no consequence or repercussion. And while they will demand that you have no business commenting on their uterus, they will demand that you pay for the extra curricular activities they choose to engage in that impact it.
I’ve been threatened with rape, called the most horrendous names, cyber stalked (yes, there is such a thing), told that my children should have been aborted, that I should be dead for being “anti-choice.” And those are among the nicer comments. They can’t bring themselves to even say the words “pro-life” anymore because the connotations of them holding opposite views on “life” just makes them too uncomfortable, so they change the wording so that it can’t be allowed to prick their conscience.
This has given me thick skin and I can tell you that I don’t hesitate to always take a stand for life, no matter the arena or the views of those around me. It’s a matter of basic human decency and I believe we will be judged both by God and by future generations by what we allowed to happen to the 50 million babies during our lifetime who have been exterminated and their body parts sold for profits by cold-hearted monsters. Silence is assent. Apathy makes one equally guilty.
But there is another side to this coin and one that is struggling to be heard above the arguing between the two sides. It’s the ugly and heartbreaking reality that is hidden behind the catchy slogans of “women’s healthcare,” the pink “choice” shirts, and the false rung of “empowerment and strength” on which modern day feminism is hung. It’s the millions of women who have been chewed and spit out of the Planned Parenthood machine, left damaged, wounded, and scarred. Women who have to crawl out of bed everyday heavy with guilt and figure out a way to move forward with the irreparable decisions that they’ve made. Women who mentally note the birthdays each year of the tiny angels that they consciously made the decision abort. I hear from these women on many an occasion and THEY are the reality of the abortion industry. We’ve all heard that abortion leaves one dead and one wounded and I can tell you from the stories that are sent to me that nothing could be more true.
I finally decided to sit down today and write this piece after a twitter conversation I had this week with a young lady who responded to a clip I posted on Gianna Jessen, a woman who is an abortion survivor. She responded and said:
“I wish I had been enlightened like you before it was too late. I have to live with my choice everyday and it’s hell on Earth.” She continued on through several tweets with, “I had no support. What I did have was my terribly selfish aunt who has had 5 abortions, who set a horrific example for me…. I haven’t forgiven myself. Feel like I want to die every day. My ex-husband, although he went to rehab, still won’t talk to me. I’m alive for my daughter. I want her to have a mother in her life. She’s my reason for being.”
I asked for permission to use her tweets, and even offered to remove her name, but she responded with, “Yes you can, if it will help people- then yes.” Marjon is just one of the many deeply suffering women walking among us with lacerated hearts. While I know for a fact that there are women out there who claim that their abortion never caused them a second thought, I’ve just never personally met any who felt that way. I know women who have had abortions and every single one of them have expressed deep regret and years of guilt over it. Even decades later, after they’ve moved on, married, and created families they never seem to forget the one that they aborted.
Many people who suffer from a loss are able to openly discuss the hurt and grief and receive comfort among their friends and family, but an abortion sufferer is different. The loss is associated with a shame that is too deep to announce as a status on Facebook. They silently grieve and writhe in emotional pain, often tucked away for no one to ever see. In fact, suicide rates among post abortion women are three to six times higher than the average person.
Abortion is an extremely unnatural experience for a woman’s body and her maternal instinct. Negative reactions are to be expected and do not depend on a person’s religious beliefs or general mental health… In a study done by Anne Speckhard, Ph.D, 85% of the women reported that they were surprised at the intensity of their emotional reaction to the abortion. These reactions included discomfort with children, feelings of low self-worth, guilt, feelings of anger, depression, grief, increased alcohol use, crying, inability to communicate and feeling suicidal. Yet 72% of the subjects reported no identifiable religious belief at the time of the abortion.
So we have to ask ourselves how are we responding to women who are hurting from the result of an act that many of us so vociferously and passionately oppose? The answer is simple. They must not feel further condemnation or shame. Many of you reading this profess to be Christians, as do I. If you are, you are the hands, the feet, the mouths of the Savior that you profess to serve and you must respond as He would. Believe me, there is nothing you can say to these women to make them feel lower about their decision than where they already are emotionally. They have to live with this decision every day and I can assure you that if many of them had the opportunity for a redo that they would grasp it with both hands.
Compassion. Love. Acceptance. Forgiveness. Mercy. Grace. These are the attributes we must embody when we encounter a woman hurting from the guilt and remorse of an abortion.
There are two websites that several people I trust in the pro-life movement often channel these women for help in moving forward and dealing with their grief. HopeAfterAbortion.com and SurrenderingTheSecret.com offers resources and help for women suffering the aftermath of their abortion within their states and local counties.
My overall response to Marjon through tweets and more private messages were, “Aren’t you thankful for Amazing Grace! I believe in mercy, forgiveness, and healing through Jesus Christ. God has a purpose for your life and your story isn’t over.”
Our fight against the abortion industry must continue with undying strength and vigor. But the other hand must tempered and used to welcome and comfort those who were blinded by false promises of free love and inconsequential actions. These women need to be shown that healing and restoration is possible and that in turn their stories can be purposeful and make a difference in the lives of other young girls, whether it’s to prevent the loss of another life or the profound wounding of a precious soul. This doesn’t have to be how their story ends…it can be the birth of a new beginning and one that can make a lasting impact in the lives of many!